When You're Waiting for a Baby Post-Loss

O Lord, 

How I desire to be a mom. To feel little feet grow within me, to hear the red faced screams of a healthy baby, given life by your breath. The giggle of an angel resting in my arms to love and protect as You direct us through your divine path laid out for us. 

To sit, O Lord and trust your plan when it’s one that so goes against my own, feels dark and impossible. How thankful I am for your strength to carry what I cannot, and to hold what feels too heavy for me to bear. 

I beg, dear Lord, that you bless me with a little one to call my own. I lay my pleas humbly at your feet knowing that Your plan will be carried out. You have my story mapped out on your heart and though I do not understand, I hold close the knowledge that You are near and have  a perfect plan in place. 

Lord while I wait, please fill my heart with your peace and take from me the feelings of brokenness, inadequacy, and pain of having empty arms. I don’t know why this is your plan for me, nor did I want it to be a part of my story, though Lord I pray that it will be used to glorify You. You who can make all things beautiful and precious. Take my pain and replace it with your love and peace that surpasses all my own understanding. Allow me to surrender fully to you. 

In these times of questioning, pain, and emotional exhaustion I lay at your feet and beg to be surrounded by you. To feel you hold me close and to know deeply and truly that I am yours, and that with your help I will withstand all that comes to pass. 

Thank you my Dear Father,

Amen